What about life?

 WHAT ABOUT LIFE??

I remember a day when I was in my 6th standard. It was a gloomy day outside and perhaps the lesson we were about to begin had some contents related to life. Mam Prava, as we used to call her
was our teacher who used to teach us Nepali and it was her class. Having been seated on a first bench in the class, she came straight towards me and asked me what I had thought life was.
Gross! it feels so embarrassing to say what I had said at that moment and probably you will laugh out loud after knowing what I had replied. Well, I said- LIFE IS STRUGGLE. How come life be a
struggle to a girl in 6th standard who barely does even know what the complete meaning of life is? (Ha! Ha!) Because that's what she had been hearing from people around, as a definition of life
or maybe, THE definition of life. Is it because alike every other child, she  was in the trend to say LIFE IS STRUGGLE, reckless what she means by it? Or is it because she belonged to an age
group, when no child  has a perception of his/her own but makes what s/he listens hither-thither as his/hers. Yes, ridiculous it is but we've all been through that phase, haven't we? I am pretty
sure, you must have had some of such glossal great quotations that you have shed forth when you were in that age which you are not so proud of, if you look aback now. Lest, you sure need to put
a little effort to pertain to your memory. Well, so and such was mine.

To the day, I have never been able to uncover the meaning of life. I mean the real meaning of life. Now, when I look back to the time I have emerged from, I feel like I can make innumerable
definitions of so. Life had been mamma's endearment when I was an infant and when I grew up to a toddler, life was dad's shoulder. And as I grew up older, it was all about plays and
amusements, to frolic around and so on. Ascending, as I went on chasing growth, "levity, sportiveness, gayety, ecstasy, volatility" became my new definition of life or so of my teen- a healthy
teen. However, its not that life was not proved irksome at times. Then again, the definition altered and swerved towards anxiety, vexation, solicitude and constraining stiffness. Thus, hitherto
I have not actually been within the boundary of cogitability about life and I believe, the day when I can summarise all the definitions and make a concrete precision, will probably be the last day
of my life because until that time, I would still be seeking new reckonings about it everyday and perhaps every single moment. For now, I give it a name called EXPERIENCE.

Life is PENDULOUS.Sometimes we get swing to the blissful moments of life. Sometimes we are driven forcefully towards the unpacific ventures. Sometimes it seems as clear as the  framework
of snowflakes strapped on the pinus tree outside my door and sometimes its as dark as the rage of vengeance. Never as simple as its seen. Never as easy as it seems. A lot many thousand faces
soon as we walk into the crowd. Half of them have that smile worn and half reflect that sorrowful transactions and textures of unhappiness. But just seeing that we can't analyze the actual
place they belong. We can't say whether they came out of the darkest closet of their lives or they are floating on cloud nine. The pretty faces with the liveliest smile might bear the  thundrous
incidents they can never come out of but still they don't show. Maybe they just hide it somewhere inside until it gets lost inside their lungs, trying to prove they are concrete, however never let
it ouflow to the world. To the contrary, those delved with unhappy faces might have a better life. Plunged into the tornado of bad fortunes, some people even start thinking that this is how they
gotta live- FATESPAT. That is their plate and for the rest of their life, they just have to get stirred wherever it drives them. NINE BILLION FACES HIDE NINE BILLION STORIES. The more
you try to understand, the more you will get lost into each's maze. There is lot more than what you see, way lot.. There is lot more inside one's peevishness and lot more behind one's charm. If
you think you can know someone to the fullest, to the innermost, then its just a delusion you are living with.
               
We try, we fail. Some of us get up and try getting hold of the time again while some of us get afraid of getting back up because we are threatened by the fear of another failure. Fear and more
fear. Thats what drives us away from our dreams or most suitably our goals. And then a lot many things hover inside our tiny heads for the big ones are owned by those brilliant studs who could
make up to their dream at once and who are regarded as the gems on Earth. And what else, we are trapped again in the tornado of dilemmas and more dilemmas. Should I try doing that thing
again? May be I make it this time? Or Should I just quit this because it ain't my cup of tea? Should I try figuring out whats my instinct? Gross! Hell no more questions. Once, I had read some
lines on a novel- REVOLUTION 2020 by Chetan Vagat. I don't exactly remember the line but it somehow meant that every babies' genes are not THE EINSTEIN's clone. And whats ridiculous is
most of our parents are too  reluctant to understand this fact while their own blood keep persuading them relentlessly. Nevertheless, we are all set to move, to go wherever fate takes us holding
that unspoken goal to reach the star someday, within.

    STELLAR DREAM

STARS DART FORTH THEIR LUMINOSITY
A WIDE AWAKE ME IS COMPELLED TO GAZE
THESE KEEN EYES IN WAIT OF STELLAR DREAM
TO GET FULFILLED AND OUTSHINE ITS RAYS

ALIKE THE SPLENDOR THE SUN EMITS
ALIKE THE NEBULAE EXPLODING BRIGHT
I HAVE A DREAM WHERE THE 'I' FITS
PATIENT TO GLEAM ON THE TIME RIGHT

I AM A DREAMER, I DREAM FOR GOOD
AIN'T NO VAIN,THE SCHEMES THEY HOLD
I AM AN OPTIMIST, I HOPE HIGH HOOD
THE EVIL WILL FLEE AWAY,SO WILL THE COLD

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW,THAT DAY WILL COME
MY ADORNED, LIKE A SPLENDOR, GLEAM
CONSTELLATING ZEAL, CONTORTIONS GONE
THAT DAY I'LL LIVE MY STELLAR DREAM !!


Isn't the diameter of all of our pupil the same? Doesn't it dilate in doom and constrict so prettily in light? Yes. Indeed, it does. Sure, its the only thing that reflects whether we are in doom or in
happy blooms, either it be you or me. But then, its all in our hand whether we keep staying in the doom never trying to come out to explore the world outside ours or start craving for the
illumination because we are the one who own the authority to dispose ourselves of the interest vested upon us, within us. Often, our supremacy doesn't allow us to realize our wrong-being for
blaming comes out as an easy alternative. But as its said what goes around comes back around, our Karma finds us out anyway. We, wise creatures may be stone-blind but our Karma. So, what I
intend to discourse is, in the hoard of seeking lumination, may we not loose our humanity and may we not digress from mankind.
               
Alan Watts once said- "Making plans for future is of use only to people who are capable of living completely in the present." It stirs us up to reasoning whether we want to be the ones who
preplan their future for a better existence of theirs and their descendents in the days tomorrow or the ones who live today to unfold their existence in the running days in a complete manner.
However, since a dark cloud often betokens a storm, our way of living today sure does foreshow our upcoming days. So who have you decided to be? A better liver today? Or a worrier of the
days you have never witnessed or PRECISELY, unaware if its ever going to be witnessed???