EVE TEASING
Since the time immemorial, women have every which way, been considered frail to men to all intents and purposes either it be physically, mentally or emotionally. Perhaps, this transcending perception of ours has led to even more worsening situation of women in our social abode that thus, has automatically slouched them to more frightfulness, while, the truth being, the very women can vigorously fight back the malevolence.
Since the time immemorial, women have every which way, been considered frail to men to all intents and purposes either it be physically, mentally or emotionally. Perhaps, this transcending perception of ours has led to even more worsening situation of women in our social abode that thus, has automatically slouched them to more frightfulness, while, the truth being, the very women can vigorously fight back the malevolence.
To the best of our knowledge, Nepalese society is a well-known harbor of a wide range of social stigmas and problems, from petty thefts to bone-chilling aggravated assault. Amidst all the evils swaying in our society, eve-teasing is one of a dyed-in-the-wool type. Any form of iniquitous and undesirable acts or gestures vilely directed towards women to humiliate or unease them, is simply what we understand by EVE-TEASING that covers shameful acts like passing offensive comments over their body structure and the way they walk , touching and nudging them without their consent(especially in crowded areas), uttering sexually offensive sentences to them etc. Wikipedia defines eve teasing as a euphemism used in India (and sometimes other parts of South Asia including Nepal and Bangladesh for public sexual harassment of women by men, where, Eve alludes to the very first woman according to the Biblical creation story.
Back in my school, when I was a 10th grader, we were asked to enlist any ten jutting social problems of Nepalese society. Robbery, murder, discrimination in the name of caste, religion, drug addiction were all that 95% of us came up with practically leaving none to specify Eve-teasing and NOW I wonder why. There might be societies where threats of robbery and murder don’t exist at all but name me a society where a trivial of eve-teasing is not witnessed every other day, I’ll swear off my writing fondness. God knows since how long we’ve been molested and tamped by the evils of eve-teasing. A 14 year old girl walking down the alley to her school receives offensive comments about her thighs exposed few inches below her skirt and what does she do? She runs off and sips in her sobs just like a helpless petty creature in trouble. A 24 year old woman walking her way to office encounters a bunch of street jerks who pass on explicit remarks on her body and when she tries to avoid the situation at her best, they follow her, chase her and try to touch her. What is a woman half the size of any of those junkies, quarter the strength of them and with no back up at all supposed to do then besides pretending to look down at her cellphone? “Oh yeah scoundrels, come let me show you some of my martial arts”??? In seven hells, one girl can never outdo a bunch of sturdy males. Thus, keeping it cut and dried, all she does is taking them ALL for GRANTED. A college girl standing in a crowded public vehicle gets a real bad push at her back from a 50 year old man intentionally trying to rub against her back. Poor girl doesn’t slap that man because he’s the age of her father. Poor girl doesn’t voice for her defense and dignity but utters a murmur with a narrowed glottis and swallows it within, letting it vanish somewhere deep down inside, while the incident remains etched into her memory like a nightmare forever.
Few years back, one of my friends came school feverish and trembling
in all tears and when asked, she told us of how a junkie on a silent road had
shown her his privates and held her hands and how she had managed to escape, in
a shaky voice. We couldn’t stay put ignoring her state to pieces and swarmed to
the coordinator. To our disbelief, he overlooked the situation just like that
saying- Thank god! No harm occurred to her. Really? Is that what you think? The
mental trauma that she went to for a whole month was no harm to her? The fear
that still eats her up when she walks
that road is no harm to her? Well yeah, maybe having her clothes ripped off and
having herself raped under the clear blue sky in broad daylight ravaging every
pieces of her was all that you mean by HARM and maybe that would have been the
only cue for you to act upon the situation. After all, it runs in our blood to
act only after the scar starts bleeding rather than prior to formation of scar,
isn’t it? Thank god, the cue wasn’t given.
Girls are always preached of what they should wear, how they should walk and talk, who they should keep company with and how they should ignore, JUST IGNORE the evil befalling upon them. Only if parents could spare a little time to teach their sons to respect girls, no girl like Pooja Bohora would have to write such a heart wrenching letter to the law minister with an appeal of justice. Only if parents had comprehended “TREAT GIRLS WITH THE DIGNITY THEY DESERVE” in their upbringing-golden-rules, no girl like Sita Rai would have had to commit suicide at their earliest and none of these mourning cum warning protests and candle marches would have been necessary that practically seem to reap not much positive outcomes. That said, I don’t mean to condemn all the lads. However, exhibiting some courage to stand by the side of the girl being eve-teased and apprising the teasers against their misdeed would definitely do the icing on the cake to your I-am-a-nice-lad trait, wouldn’t it?
A question to the eve-teasers -Does it give you pleasure to humiliate a girl? Do you think eve-teasing gives wings to your man-hood or something? Well, how about you go approach the girl and compliment her of her beautiful eyes or nice dress a gentleman way rather than slingshotting embarrassing remarks like foxy eyes or nice ass or sexy legs. Here, I shall be up front with you. A girl will appreciate a RANDOM guy approaching to compliment her of any of her merit rather than a WELL- ACQUAINTED fellow blowing reproachful comments to her on the very merit, out of nowhere. Long story short,EVE-TEASING DOESN’T MAKE YOU A MAN. INSTEAD, IT MAIMS YOUR MANHOOD.
Uprooting eve teasing is not as easy as taking candy from a baby. Having to deal with that every day is just as worse. You will never have a hero pop in out of the blue to your rescue when the being-eve-teased-situation goes on the loose, like we see in a lot of Bollywood movies. Well, sometimes if your fortune cookie favors, someone might just show up lest, you should count on yourself. While mapping the understanding of sexual violence and exploring its magnitude, pattern and impact, truth comes out to be saddening that less than 40% of people understand eve teasing as sexual violence, thus proving that we retain a real narrow definition of it. Eve teasing not only drives the victims to depression, fright, suicidal attempts and irredeemable loss of dignity and self-esteem but bores full-fledged negative consequences upon their families as well. Eve teasing today is a clear indication of an assault tomorrow. Not speaking a word today is inviting the dread the morrow. Not guiding your son today to respect girls is to manufacture a perpetrator tomorrow. Our laws and support system being frequently sabotaged are
no more our foundation stone. To that end, let’s vow to start from ME. Let’s break the ice from YOU. On top of the top, let’s get with the program from WE.
