Premature Cybersex Seduction

Premature Cybersex Seduction

“I called him last night but he wouldn’t answer.”

“It all happened because of Diya. Total b****.”

“I don’t know where I went wrong Aakanshaa. I loved him so much. Am I not beautiful enough? Have I ever acted grouchy with him?”

“No babe, it’s not your fault. It’s his loss that he chose Diya over you. You deserve much better. Let bygones be bygones.”

“Medha, dinner’s ready.” A voice is heard from upstairs. Medha hangs up and walks up to the kitchen. That night, after dinner, she limps back to her room, crawls up to her bed and rolls into a ball underneath the blanket, sobbing silently feeling wrecked.

The 14 year old girl, who was “in love” with one of her classmates had just had a breach in her relationship and she thought her life lost its meaning.

A day passed. Two, five, seven, ten and so on. One fine afternoon, as she was pointlessly scrolling up and down her seemingly favorite site to keep her head off the ongoing, with as less an interest as a sleepy child kept up to complete her school assignment, a note popped up- Arvind wants to connect with you. He’s a cute looking boy she thought and tersely confirmed his connection request.

It’d almost been two weeks since her breakup. They say time heals everything and she was gradually getting out of her seclusion. A caterpillar had just metamorphosed and advanced to a new phase of its life.

“Hey there.”

(The first message laid ignored but a second came up soon after.)

“Hi, Can I talk to you for a moment? It’s important.”

“Yeah, hi”

“Thank god, you replied.”

“What is that important thing?”

……………………………………………………..

That evening, the conversation stopped there without her knowing what the important thing was. Three days later, Arvind texted her again and they started an amicable conversation. Arvind seemed to be an interesting person to talk to. Perhaps, all that Medha needed was someone or something to lift her up from the unpleasant set of circumstances that had happened to her. Perhaps there’s this innocent rage of vengeance in the early teens against anyone that hurt them and that they could replace them with the other just as good if not better. Medha was no different. She shared the same crib.

Meeting someone new, getting to know them and discovering that your preferences match and that person is the kind of someone that you wouldn’t mind expressing yourself to is always amusing, more so in the beginning. Days passed. With the break of every dawn, a pristine hope of talking to that unseen friend started creeping in.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. I had a lovely dream.”

“Really? What about?”

“YOU”

A juvenile excitement of knowing about each other’s day took birth to every sun down. Talking to each other on the web was exhilarating their lives. The baited-breath wait to talk to each other online became a routine they wouldn’t afford to miss a single day and that’s how the attachment started growing stronger. Texting soon changed to sexting and all those quirky feels in her belly that she used to feel while with her ex started tickling her all over again. The texts that Arvind sent her, warmed the cockles of her heart and the sexts that he projected towards her wormed all the way to her womb. She enjoyed all of it to bits already developing a ripsnorting will to do anything and everything that he wanted/ convinced her to do. Days were sober but nights lured their internet intimacy under its cloak of darkness and simultaneously gave way to the inevitable, yet most feared.

One rainy evening, Arvind asked her to send nudes. Medha, a little taken aback, refused at first but when he fooled her for the need of a little oomph in their relationship, she assented. They say the human heart is always discontent. With the increase in demands of more nudes, Medha collected more confidence, perhaps a feel of assurance with him that he had got attached to her and wouldn’t leave her side unlike her ex. All this through, she hadn’t once seen him except on pictures, nor had he seen her, yet the intimacy. Many suns rose and many set. Then one growly night, he said-“Strip in front of me.” The excitement of seeing Arvind over the internet outweighed the requisite of having to flash herself in the webcam. Besides, he had already controlled her mind onto thinking only good of him and turning a blind eye to the red flags .She had already given all of herself to him.

She flashed the top of her underpants and the lock of hair underneath it. He demanded more and she unhooked her bra, pulled down its straps and stood there, unclad, as naked as the day she was born, with her eyes beweighing timidness and trust in equal shares. As promised, it was Arvind’s turn to show himself up in the webcam and Medha was all excited to see the ‘love’ of her life for the first time. A cute charming face, twinkling eyes, chiseled nose, and an affectionate smile as she had expected him to be about and the faith she had upon the explanation of himself got lashed down when she saw a man in his mid-thirties with creases near the corner of his eyes, bald spots on his head, dense bearded fraudulent face topping all of these with the stares from those intimidatingly hurtful eyes fixed on her unclothed body like those of a drooling rabid animal. She couldn’t utter a word. She felt a weapon clamp her throat. She couldn’t clothe herself back nor could gather the senses to turn the webcam off. She couldn’t feel the ground beneath her feet or the air roaring around her. She froze, and stood still in the realization that she had been fooled and used. Everything went pitch dark. She got blind amidst the flashing memories of her internet intimacy with Arvind and the air brought deafening silence- silent enough to hurt her ears.

Social sites have become a major hub for cyber molestation these days. Logging online in search of cyber-date, cyber-love and cybersex has been shooting up exponentially with the invasion of human brain by technology. Still and all, people fail to realize that the fancy they take to cyber pleasures can eventually mold to cyberbully and cyber assault that they might have to grapple with for the rest of their lives. What’s more, “victim blaming” remains inherent. A naïve 14 year old girl becomes friends with some random 30 year old man, unknown about his age, believing over the feigned information in his account that says he is 16. She gets conned every bit by her new friend and gets smitten by him with bells on. When their closeness soars unfurling comfort, neither the man gets second thoughts on asking her to show her flesh over the webcam, nor the juvenile feels inept to comply. And that is not terrible per se. What is, is that the whole story is nothing but fabricated with deceit, ruinous enough to cost not only her psychology but her entire life. Moreover, do you know what’s even dreadful? Still in some societies, victims especially females, of sexual assault are often blamed BY OTHERS after being raped or molested, over their thigh exposing skirts or cleavage revealing dresses. Here, in the case of cybersex seduction and assault, the victim considers likely to blame HERSELF for her supposed role in “bringing on” the assault to herself. When it’s the devil in your head aiming to hurt you, you need no evil outside to lace into you.

It’s horrifying how a young girl gets trapped into the den of some paedophilic internet abuser and tricked over to flash herself in her birthday suit for his titillation. It’s hurtful to know how girls as young as 14, who don’t even know what having an actual love affair with someone is like, are taken advantage of by some repugnant paedophilics by luring them in with a fake account. In some parts of the earth, young girls, especially those who come from poor background, are pushed into the nexus of cybersex where they are forced to perform sex acts for the arousal of customers around the globe who pay big bucks for it and watch from home online. Child rights advocates are lobbying to stop the worst possible form of child abuse while innocent children continue to get swamped with predators from all around the world. The UN and FBI suspect that there are up to 750,000 people on earth online at any one time hunting for children to exploit. There also are many reports of little boys exhibited naked over the internet, in some cases by their parents or mostly by pimps.

What forms the fertile soil for the growth of all this? For a myriad of reasons, girls especially at their early teens are being prey to premature cyber-sex seduction and a lot many instances have been seen where it is done nothing about but overlooked. Many parents are unaware of what even goes on in the online world. People need to understand that it is not only at homes, schools, public vehicles, work places or roads where girls are molested or sexually assaulted. It could also be where young girls/boys these days spend most of their leisure time at- the internet. And it’s every parent’s duty to raise their children in an environment where they are taught about optimum utilization of internet. Adolescents need to be counselled about being careful who to be friends with. One minute those sociopathic predators act like a lovesick pup love-bombing you and the next, like a rabid jackal biting on that baited hook and you won’t even realize that you’ve been manipulated through and through. These forms of cybersex molestation will keep being resistant to its remedial actions until and unless a tough and detailed policy is had on cyberbullying and cybersex assault. I am not certain if any such policy exists in our country. Online sexual predators need to be exposed, not just blocked or deleted and the victims should speak up. No one should have the audacity to say to let go and leave it behind. It’s not about vengeance. It’s about justice. With the right and the earliest steps, many young lives can be saved from predators who look for easy target to satisfy their perversions, barely bothered about the lives they are wrecking.

Extremism in Feminism

EXTREMISM IN FEMINISM
                                            -A vice in virtue

A man abuses a woman in public (well, domestic cases are still little too hidden in our country’s context) then gathers a huge crowd of bystanders to beat the crap out of that guy. “Bravo! People are being aware of harassment and abuse. Long live feminism.”
Ok now, let’s turn the table. A woman beats a man really bad in public and sure, there is seen a huge throng of people encircling the scene just as same. But, how do they react? No duh, there will be hums and whispers like “he must have abused her first” or “he must be her boozy husband” or “he’s probably caught cheating on his girlfriend” literally leaving none of those “spectators” to come forward and ask the actual reason why. Excuse me if you sense impropriety in this sentence but I have to tell the truth-"The vagina is always let off the hook, while the penis is always punished" (Anon).

Now, IS THIS FEMINISM? Few, in-fact, a lot many people around the globe understand this as it. To them, uplifting the status of women by lowering that of men is feminism. Wounding his manness to relieve her womanness in the name of defying patriarchy is feminism to them. I admit it’s undeniable that women have been subordinated by men in the society blanketed by patriarchy for ages, against which it was quite not always that the women had courage to raise a word. But, now that they are abreast of their rights and when to fight (thanks to education and awareness), they are standing against all sorts of violence over them driven by the threats of patriarchy, which is definitely reformation BUT lady, if you say you are in this reformation for the deformation of manhood, then I don’t find it very humane to support your way of putting it through because justice is not when you opine that since women have been dominated by men for a long period of time, it’s no bad to throw men some hatred and reproach now. Justice is, when you realize that if men are the reasons of violence against women, they can and ought to be a part in the revolution to end it too. To give cut-and-dried meaning, feminism as is defined is best when both women and like-minded men become equal contributors in the campaign to root out patriarchy on the grounds of gender equality and humanity.

Up until 1895, feminism meant just the state of being feminine. Later, it emerged as a social theory or political movement connoting that females should be freed of all legal and social restrictions in order to practice equality between males and females in all grounds of individual or social life. It is actually a belief that no sex is superior to other and most importantly, IT DOESN’T IN ANY CASE MEAN THAT WOMEN SHOULD RISE UP ENSURING MEN’S DOWNFALL JUST BECAUSE THE CASE WAS VICE VERSA FOR A LONG PERIOD BACK AND NOW IT’S TIME WOMEN FOUGHT BACK. I was literally so taken aback when I discovered that there are still genocidal beliefs like “kill all men” and “against men” which some extreme feminists implicate under feminism, radical feminism to be specific.  Infact, I laughed for a while. Kill all men, really? What do they think, they are immortal to rule this world alone forever or do they think a girl-girl intercourse could continue generation? Well, what bad image is the word left to uphold now?  Is it really that hard to understand that our fight is against patriarchy that subordinates women not against men? Even if we peek back at the history of feminism, it clearly states that its doctrines and ideologies are aimed at ensuring equal rights and equality to both sexes, well, ALL sexes to be precise these days. However, feminism has taken a new path these days or call it wrong turn. Admit it or not, some so-called feminists around the world have turned their beliefs into hatred and their fight against patriarchy has changed into a war of humanity. Women constantly try to pick up phony crap to blame men on a whim even at circumstances they are not to blame and duh they pride themselves for staying at the cutting edge of their victory. To them, not marrying a man and not bearing his child is the punishment he deserves. But, for what? For being born male? For being the descendant of the generation that squashed women for so long? And they name it feminism and call themselves feminists. I’d rather call them stroppy creatures giving bad name to feminism and feminists. Clearly, it’s a misled feminism, called extremism. This day approached, feminism has become a notion of threat and hatred because of ideas as mentioned earlier. People have started to believe that feminism is all and just about blaming men for women’s subordination and ruling the world by themselves. They intend to or refrain from the term because of the stigmas associated with it like feminists are man-haters, they always blame men for their suppression, while the truth is something incongruous, something totally different. In the first place, feminism and feminists haven’t set their boundary within the female group only. The fact that since the terms start with ‘femine’, people often mis-understand it as a sole female thing can’t be overlooked. But if the word “Human” ended with man and still marks both male and female then what’s wrong in starting “Feminism” with femine? For this reason, like-minded males are just as equal contributors and responsible as females in feminism. Secondly, feminism is definitely not about hating men or about isolating males and females from each other but indeed a fight against patriarchy and everything or anything that draws a being beneath the other.

You can make him fall head over heels a moment and also crash his world down to pieces the other but isn’t he also the one that makes you feel sheltered and safe in his arms when you need it most, when no one else’s sympathies, neither your best friend’s nor your guardian angel’s can stir you up but only his cuddle can soothe your bawling soul? So, dear extreme feminists, admit it you can’t boast to run the world without him backing you up. What makes you think that wife is an unpaid prostitute and motherhood is an unpaid labor? Well, if this is not defaming enough to a woman’s identity, I don’t know what is. And by defaming a woman like this, it’s silly how you still claim that you are trying to put woman’s perspective in center. Long story short, the biological dependency between male and female is not a problem, instead it’s a beautiful relation that makes a new heart beat.

Emotion is like a boomerang. It keeps coming back. Be it the affection you shower on him or the hatred you sling-shot him with, it all comes back to you just as it is. The most vivid example of this is groups like “Women against feminism”, “Men against feminism”, “Anti-feminists” etc. Feminism is not a bad word or a dominating concept except when extremism engulfs it and wrong thoughts are bred, the result of which are these groups against feminism which perceive feminism as a notion of threat. It’s distressing that modern feminists are wasting their blood and sweat over disseminating “slut-shaming” campaign rather than showing their tiny effort against rape and punishing rapists. It’s indisputable that in some parts of the world, rape culture still exists and that it should be uprooted. But here, these wise head creatures are trying to reform girl’s dresses rather than toning down the perpetrator’s euphoria in the name of killing rape culture. When are they to realize that rapists rape not the dress?

I don’t wish for a community where a guy doesn’t flirt with a girl. I don’t want a society where a guy doesn’t have to bear with his girl’s tantrums. I am a strong antagonist of radicalism and I refuse to believe that just because a girl is crying in front of that guy, it’s his fault every time and that there’s a need of tit for tat. Instead, I want a feminism that allows women to ask for sanitary pads to the retailers with as less an awkwardness as it allows men to ask for condoms. I want a feminism that allows women to discuss about the beautiful natural phenomena undergoing inside their vessel with men they like to share with and vice versa. I want a feminism that binds two sexes together, he with she and she with he, instead of the one that strives for the downfall of one by the other. I oppose radical feminism which speaks for complete isolation of men and women, so by not bearing his child, he’ll be reprimanded with the punishment of his life but I unswervingly want a feminism which ensures that a woman has right over her body, that she can make her own decisions regarding pregnancy, childbirth and family planning without pleading for her husband’s or her in laws’ permission. Most essentially, I want a feminism that provides women and men with choices, not chains. If you agree, be proud to call yourself a feminist, despite your biological construct.