Extremism in Feminism

EXTREMISM IN FEMINISM
                                            -A vice in virtue

A man abuses a woman in public (well, domestic cases are still little too hidden in our country’s context) then gathers a huge crowd of bystanders to beat the crap out of that guy. “Bravo! People are being aware of harassment and abuse. Long live feminism.”
Ok now, let’s turn the table. A woman beats a man really bad in public and sure, there is seen a huge throng of people encircling the scene just as same. But, how do they react? No duh, there will be hums and whispers like “he must have abused her first” or “he must be her boozy husband” or “he’s probably caught cheating on his girlfriend” literally leaving none of those “spectators” to come forward and ask the actual reason why. Excuse me if you sense impropriety in this sentence but I have to tell the truth-"The vagina is always let off the hook, while the penis is always punished" (Anon).

Now, IS THIS FEMINISM? Few, in-fact, a lot many people around the globe understand this as it. To them, uplifting the status of women by lowering that of men is feminism. Wounding his manness to relieve her womanness in the name of defying patriarchy is feminism to them. I admit it’s undeniable that women have been subordinated by men in the society blanketed by patriarchy for ages, against which it was quite not always that the women had courage to raise a word. But, now that they are abreast of their rights and when to fight (thanks to education and awareness), they are standing against all sorts of violence over them driven by the threats of patriarchy, which is definitely reformation BUT lady, if you say you are in this reformation for the deformation of manhood, then I don’t find it very humane to support your way of putting it through because justice is not when you opine that since women have been dominated by men for a long period of time, it’s no bad to throw men some hatred and reproach now. Justice is, when you realize that if men are the reasons of violence against women, they can and ought to be a part in the revolution to end it too. To give cut-and-dried meaning, feminism as is defined is best when both women and like-minded men become equal contributors in the campaign to root out patriarchy on the grounds of gender equality and humanity.

Up until 1895, feminism meant just the state of being feminine. Later, it emerged as a social theory or political movement connoting that females should be freed of all legal and social restrictions in order to practice equality between males and females in all grounds of individual or social life. It is actually a belief that no sex is superior to other and most importantly, IT DOESN’T IN ANY CASE MEAN THAT WOMEN SHOULD RISE UP ENSURING MEN’S DOWNFALL JUST BECAUSE THE CASE WAS VICE VERSA FOR A LONG PERIOD BACK AND NOW IT’S TIME WOMEN FOUGHT BACK. I was literally so taken aback when I discovered that there are still genocidal beliefs like “kill all men” and “against men” which some extreme feminists implicate under feminism, radical feminism to be specific.  Infact, I laughed for a while. Kill all men, really? What do they think, they are immortal to rule this world alone forever or do they think a girl-girl intercourse could continue generation? Well, what bad image is the word left to uphold now?  Is it really that hard to understand that our fight is against patriarchy that subordinates women not against men? Even if we peek back at the history of feminism, it clearly states that its doctrines and ideologies are aimed at ensuring equal rights and equality to both sexes, well, ALL sexes to be precise these days. However, feminism has taken a new path these days or call it wrong turn. Admit it or not, some so-called feminists around the world have turned their beliefs into hatred and their fight against patriarchy has changed into a war of humanity. Women constantly try to pick up phony crap to blame men on a whim even at circumstances they are not to blame and duh they pride themselves for staying at the cutting edge of their victory. To them, not marrying a man and not bearing his child is the punishment he deserves. But, for what? For being born male? For being the descendant of the generation that squashed women for so long? And they name it feminism and call themselves feminists. I’d rather call them stroppy creatures giving bad name to feminism and feminists. Clearly, it’s a misled feminism, called extremism. This day approached, feminism has become a notion of threat and hatred because of ideas as mentioned earlier. People have started to believe that feminism is all and just about blaming men for women’s subordination and ruling the world by themselves. They intend to or refrain from the term because of the stigmas associated with it like feminists are man-haters, they always blame men for their suppression, while the truth is something incongruous, something totally different. In the first place, feminism and feminists haven’t set their boundary within the female group only. The fact that since the terms start with ‘femine’, people often mis-understand it as a sole female thing can’t be overlooked. But if the word “Human” ended with man and still marks both male and female then what’s wrong in starting “Feminism” with femine? For this reason, like-minded males are just as equal contributors and responsible as females in feminism. Secondly, feminism is definitely not about hating men or about isolating males and females from each other but indeed a fight against patriarchy and everything or anything that draws a being beneath the other.

You can make him fall head over heels a moment and also crash his world down to pieces the other but isn’t he also the one that makes you feel sheltered and safe in his arms when you need it most, when no one else’s sympathies, neither your best friend’s nor your guardian angel’s can stir you up but only his cuddle can soothe your bawling soul? So, dear extreme feminists, admit it you can’t boast to run the world without him backing you up. What makes you think that wife is an unpaid prostitute and motherhood is an unpaid labor? Well, if this is not defaming enough to a woman’s identity, I don’t know what is. And by defaming a woman like this, it’s silly how you still claim that you are trying to put woman’s perspective in center. Long story short, the biological dependency between male and female is not a problem, instead it’s a beautiful relation that makes a new heart beat.

Emotion is like a boomerang. It keeps coming back. Be it the affection you shower on him or the hatred you sling-shot him with, it all comes back to you just as it is. The most vivid example of this is groups like “Women against feminism”, “Men against feminism”, “Anti-feminists” etc. Feminism is not a bad word or a dominating concept except when extremism engulfs it and wrong thoughts are bred, the result of which are these groups against feminism which perceive feminism as a notion of threat. It’s distressing that modern feminists are wasting their blood and sweat over disseminating “slut-shaming” campaign rather than showing their tiny effort against rape and punishing rapists. It’s indisputable that in some parts of the world, rape culture still exists and that it should be uprooted. But here, these wise head creatures are trying to reform girl’s dresses rather than toning down the perpetrator’s euphoria in the name of killing rape culture. When are they to realize that rapists rape not the dress?

I don’t wish for a community where a guy doesn’t flirt with a girl. I don’t want a society where a guy doesn’t have to bear with his girl’s tantrums. I am a strong antagonist of radicalism and I refuse to believe that just because a girl is crying in front of that guy, it’s his fault every time and that there’s a need of tit for tat. Instead, I want a feminism that allows women to ask for sanitary pads to the retailers with as less an awkwardness as it allows men to ask for condoms. I want a feminism that allows women to discuss about the beautiful natural phenomena undergoing inside their vessel with men they like to share with and vice versa. I want a feminism that binds two sexes together, he with she and she with he, instead of the one that strives for the downfall of one by the other. I oppose radical feminism which speaks for complete isolation of men and women, so by not bearing his child, he’ll be reprimanded with the punishment of his life but I unswervingly want a feminism which ensures that a woman has right over her body, that she can make her own decisions regarding pregnancy, childbirth and family planning without pleading for her husband’s or her in laws’ permission. Most essentially, I want a feminism that provides women and men with choices, not chains. If you agree, be proud to call yourself a feminist, despite your biological construct.